Do any of you have anxiety about being OLD and if you do, how do you cope with it?

My initial statement is in the column to the right.
Your responses are helping me. Thanks so much.
Grateful Goddess Joan

10/13/04

Email from cyberfriend Nelson Harrison

Exercise for Seniors

I just came across this exercise suggested for seniors, (or others) to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my friends. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb.potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks, then 50-lb. potato sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks, but be careful.

Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

• A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

• If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it.

• She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
  A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

• Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
  Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.

• Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

• Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

• A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends.

• A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

• Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

• Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

• A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

• Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

• Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one!

• You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+,

there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.
Andy Rooney

• For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage...

11/1/03

This is beautiful, we are Goddesses connecting

Grateful Goddess Joan

I find it interesting that at age 61 I can be perfectly happy not being sexual and yet when I am - it is more intense and more meaningful that ever!

I do not feel an overwhelming need or drive to be sexual at all - but oh, Goddess, when I connect intimately - I am completely free to be.  I am yielding and giving, all that I can be - open, erotic, intense - I am one with the Universe.

LOL

Love
Bendis

Mary, thank you for your response to the question:

Do any of you have anxiety about being OLD and if you do, how do you cope with it?

I agree with you that you shouldn't have to BE sexy to be loved by those around you. I just saw a book on Menopause. I'm on the other end of the stick. Just because I'm, 55, do I have to stop loving to be with men and stop having sex? Of course, being a Goddess, I know that I can choose which situation I prefer, but I think it's interesting that feelings run the gamut from wanting to be sexual and being happy that you've reached the age that you're not expected to be sexual.

Grateful Goddess Joan

My name is Mary and I am writing the following message regarding sex and old women I am 65 I am officially old I knew I could stop fighting to remain "youthful", when I got my first social security check (blessed be). Why do I have to be bothered with sex...when I was 6 no one insisted that I be sexy or even want to do sex as a child it was perfectly OK and even required not to be sexy...when now that my children are grown and I am a grandmother every one thinks its necessary. When I was young I tolerated the urges that distracted me from more productive pastimes. But now I can think about other things.

10/28/2003

Crones-in-Training
This was a wonderful reply. I, too, am bonding with other women in their 50s, who've been in my life for a long time. I didn't fret becoming 50.I loved the idea that I'd lived that long without killing anyone or being killed. I survived my 4 marriages unscathed! Whew! and I'm still young enough to attract a 33-year-old! Wow!!!

We have the WRONG idea about being grandmothers from the women we see who are grandmothers. My step-grandmother is now 100!  I started caring for her when she was 96, taking charge of all of her business affairs, home, bills, banking, etc.

She is such a LIGHT to me! She was still flirting and making eyes at the 45-year-old man next door, who adored her. Then, she fell and hit her head and now, she's bringing light to those who care for her in a private facility.

So, the getting old was not the problem for me. Being GRANDMA is the problem. But I'm working on enjoying it. I think it will be OK.

Grateful Goddess Joan

10/30/03

that is soo awesome think it's great to find women who are happy with age progression. I mean honestly , my mother, all my aunts, and  other women I've met have a tendency to say 'put downs' about themselves. I hate it. I cant understand why they put themselves through that kind of drama. ?????? It's soooooooooo good to find and meet women like you all. who love themselves, and are happy with their ages, and body. maybe it's cause um.. I just made 19. and I have no kids. finishing school. but I  feel like I look forward to getting older. I might not be ready for kids yet. but I would suppose i'm going into my little' maiden' part of life. I enjoy every part of it, I might be exhausted in the end but, hey you guys know how it is. thanks always.

10/30/03

I am so enjoying this dialogue about crones (from crones) I am 34 about to embark upon motherhood, but had the pleasure of being asked to participate in a crowning of the crone ritual this weekend, the crone we were honoring actually asked me to call in the four directions/cast the circle and open it back up.

It was amazing...I rushed from a Samhain ritual I facilitated to the croning ritual I was on such a high all day/evening and then fell exhausted into bed that night.... it was such an honor to be asked to do this, and it was an amazing ritual, seeing all these women from all different walks of life honoring this blood rite.

Men and children were invited into the circle later, and as the entered the room they said they sensed the energy and power we had created with our rituals, and chanting and dancing and sharing.......

Blessings to all Crones and thank you for sharing your stories and experiences with us.

10/29/03

Hello all! Blessed Samhain To all of you wonderful beautiful womyn out there! I have been reading all the Crone talk as it were and I see that I come from a different direction with this. I'm 40 turning 41 in January and had a total hysterectomy 2 years ago. I found out I had a huge non malignant tumor (15 inches huge) on my ovary at Samhain and the surgery followed at Yule. I never had children and my little brother has not had any children yet. So, now I struggle to find my place. My Mother phase is
still going, I work in an Infectious Disease clinic (AIDS mostly) and use that energy there. But I also play the Crone there when it comes time for a patient to move on. The Maiden comes in with laughter and play.

So, as I enter my 40's, I try to get comfortable with moving between all 3 and find some others along the way. Our society doesn't make it easy for womyn to age.

"Hide your wrinkles!"

"Old women can't be sexy or even want sex anymore"

Older actresses have to get into "character acting".

Moan.........sigh.......Older Xena whacking someone in the head with her walking cane.........:) 

WIllowBear - "If that which you seek you find not within yourself, you will never find it without."

10/28/03
Dear Joan, I turned 50 at the end of May, but during the months leading up to it, I was a basket case.  The closer to 50I got, the weepierI got, without really  knowing why.  It got so bad that every time anyone spoke of my approaching birthday,  I'd break into tears. and on the date of my birthday, even my boss and my place of employment respected thatI needed it to be VERY LOW KEY.  They brought in a delicious coffee cake and did not sing Happy Birthday or do presents or flowers or anything else.  That was fine by me.  Now,I know thatI am a strong and vital woman, still VERY sexual and sensual. and NO WAY ready to give up that part of myself. I know thatI love to learn new things, hike in beautiful places, drive fast, and chase storms. I love to take line dancing lessons, participate in protest marches, travel.I know thatI also love to write poetry, cuddle up in front of a fire during a snowstorm, and read anythingI can get my hands on.  I am also very "techie" - loving anything to do with a computer, including databases, reporting, graphic design, web design, and word processing.  In short. I don't FEEL like I somehow expected "fifty" to feel.  Also, my youngest daughter was pregnant with my first grandchild. and that was blowing me away, too.  I was not at all sure that I was ready to be a Grandma. and not at all sure that SHE was truly ready to be a mom, although she is 28 years old and she and her husband have been together for 5 years.  Additionally, my "partner" had just ended our very intense and passionate relationship without any kind of reasonable explanation, except that she just had a knowing that she was supposed to "move on."  There had been no fighting, no rough spots, nothing to indicate that anything was at all wrong.  And one of my core issues is the fear of being "alone in my old age."  Wow. here it was. "old" age, and no partner, and becoming a grandparent, to boot!!  What a recipe for disaster!

Blessings, Erica

I am in a difficult place in my life. I'm 56. My daughter asked me to create and maintain her website and work with her company. After living alone, out of the country, for many years, without my children and grandchildren, I've been faced with being Grandmother. I had my kids young, and I'm a young grandmother, however, the emotions attached to being a grandmother make me feel OLD, and I don't want to accept that. So, I joined a gym to revitalize myself.

Do any of you have anxiety about being OLD and if you do, how do you cope with it?
Love and Light
Grateful Goddess Joan
Sisters All
God
Gaia Mind
Gratitude
Human Being
Awakening the Goddess
Acknowledging the Universe

Have a rich day!