#22

The Wise Grandmother

Where are the wise old Women,
The ones who tend the Shrine of Values,
The ones who teach the social graces?

Without their quiet voices,
Society has lost half its values,
Lost most of its wisdom;
Lost nearly all of its depth and resilience

Grandmothers

What ever on earth, can a grandma be for?
She's older than dirt, with one foot out the door.
And what can she know about living today'
When nothing is done in her old fashioned way.
Oh sure, she's sweet, and you love her a lot.
But in terms of real life, what's an ol' grandma got?

Well listen, my sweetie, you might be surprised
To find that your grandma's a youngster disguised.
She still has her dreams, and her values intact,
She's just a bit wiser, yes dear, that's a fact.
Experience has put a few lines on her face.
And that's how she knows, what its like in your place.

I know this idea may seem baffling and new.
But honey, your grandmas
"Been There, Done That", too.
So when your young life isn't going as planned.
Talk to your grandma ~she'll sure understand.
She's got lots of love and good counsel to give.
And she'll be on your side for as long as you live.

~Author Unknown~

OUR MOTHER'S GRIEF

Your comments are very important and welcome. Please email me and I'll add them to this page. gaianews@aol.com Thank you, Diva Joan Cartwright

WORDS WE SPEAK

  1. ENERGY & INTIMACY
  2. GIBSON & GLOVER MAKE NEWS
  3. MOON NAMES
  4. MELANIN
  5. VISUALIZING LIGHT
  6. BLACK THINK TANK RESULTS
  7. DRIVING WHILE BLACK
  8. THE STATE OF OUR SOULS
  9. DISTRESSED BY STRESS?
  10. MONEY AND SPIRIT
  11. DIVINE CONVERSATION
  12. MANSHARING
  13. SEX AND SKIN
  14. THINK AND ACT
  15. Gullah-Geechee Culture
  16. BLACKS IN NAZI GERMANY
  17. THE GIFT OF JAZZ
  18. WOMEN AWAKEN
  19. CHILDREN AND SEX
  20. BREATHE, MY FRIEND!
  21. WOMEN & MUSIC
  22. SINGLE GRANDMOTHERS
  23. AIN'T I A WOMAN?
  24. REPARATIONS
  25. MSG KILLS
  26. MOTHERHOOD
  27. STAND IN THE LIGHT
  28. FORGIVENESS
  29. COSBY SPEAKS
  30. TREE SHAKERS
  31. CHILDREN
  32. EAGLES
  33. TERRORISM IN AMERICA
  34. BARAKA ON MILNER
  35. NAMES AFRIKAN COUNTRIES
  36. INDIAN MEANS "IN GOD"
  37. WHAT IS BEBOP?
  38. ENGLAND'S BLACK QUEEN
  39. LETTER TO DAUGHTERS
  40. MASS ASCENSION
  41. RUNOKO & SCHOOLS
  42. AFRICAN DEBT RELIEF
  43. CONSPIRACY THEORY?
  44. HOPIS ON EARTH CHANGES
  45. GOING TO THE GRAMMY'S
  46. SAILING AROUND THE WORLD
  47. KATRINA AFTER THE STORM
  48. REMEMBERING TULSA
  49. FACTS ABOUT EARTH
  50. BLACK GIRLS
  51. HUMANITY VS. CIVILIZATION
  52. MATRIOTISM
  53. MANIFESTATION
  54. HIERARCHY OF RACE
  55. TANGLED THREADS
  56. KEYS TO LIFE
  57. THE JAZZ LIFE
  58. BLACK CANADIANS
  59. AFRICANS IN CHINA
  60. THE MATRIX AUTHOR
  61. BLACKS IN FRANCE
  62. BLACK POETS
  63. PRESENT-DAY RACISM
  64. REALITY CHECK

The Fifth Council Gathering

International Council of Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers

Black Hills, South Dakota

June 12-22, 2007

Dear Relatives, Friends and Supporters of the Grandmothers’ Council:

We have just returned from South Dakota planning the next grandmothers gathering in June, 2007, with Grandmother Beatrice and Rita and their families in the Black Hills. Each time the Grandmothers come together they focus their prayer with an intention for world peace and unity. In Dharamsala, Grandmother Tsering asked us to focus our prayer on softening the Chinese people’s hearts so that the Dalai Lama would be allowed to go home before he died. She felt that this would be the only way for the Tibetan people to return to their homeland. Grandmothers Beatrice and Rita would like us to focus our prayer on the idea that “We are again one people.” They have invited all to participate and attend the Sundance, which will be held in the last days. Many of you have expressed an interest in attending. We have just arranged some of the accommodations that should meet your needs.

Proposed schedule:

The grandmothers are continually trying to find a form where they can have the private time they need to develop their council and deepen their own relations with each other. In the two years the grandmothers have been meeting, they have only been together around 40 days. Much of that time is spent with the public. They love being with you. It has also been challenging for them to create a form that allows them this time with you that they so enjoy, and also time to develop the ground under the council that will hold their form firmly. They appreciate your dedication to the prayer for world peace that is in motion and your patience with this process as it continues to evolve. The grandmothers have created the agenda this time by scheduling a private council session before you arrive. This will ground the gathering before opening the doors to the public and lighting the sacred fire for world peace. The fire they start at the Council will be carried to the Sundance grounds and it will light the fire that will burn for the Sundance for the next 5 days.

The agenda below defines the days you will need to plan for. A more complete agenda will be sent to you after you register.

June, 2007

12th- Participants arrive at their hotel

13th, 14th , 15th --Public Grandmother Council

We will also be honoring many tribal elders during this Public Council time and we are making plans for a fundraising benefit performance.

Sundance Time:

16th- Sundance preparations

We will be visiting some of the sacred grounds held holy by the Lakota peoples.

The evening of the16th, the Grandmothers will open a prayer at a “Death to Meth” concert to raise awareness about the dangers of drug abuse for the young people.

17th- Tree Day

18th , 19th, 20th, 21st Sundance

Closing

22nd - Participants leave for home

To Register:

Rebecca Rodriguez rebeccarodriguez333@yahoo.com

2158 Triple Peak Drive Canyon Lake, Texas USA 78133

(830) 964-5078

Please send in the enclosed registration form by April 15th

Space is limited-- please register early to get the accommodations of your choice

Airline Arrangements:

For your airline arrangements, we will be using the same travel agent as before. She has really been helpful in arranging flights that are economical. You will be flying into Rapid City, South Dakota.

Alison Hawthorne

Over The Rainbow Travel www.overtherainbowtravel.net

CST#1012185-40

(415) 552-8321 (415) 431-3167 - fax

Shuttle or Rental Car Arrangements:

You can arrange for a transport by shuttle from Rapid City Airport to your hotel in Hot Springs by contacting Kevin at 605-381-7201. It will cost you $25 each way with a 3-person minimum on your van. You can also arrange for rental cars at the airport Please indicate on your registration form which way you’ll be traveling to Hot Springs and the day you will arrive.

Costs:

Public Council Days (June 13,14,15)

Lunch and dinner:

Your meals will be served at the Civic Center where the Council will be meeting. A $20 a day fee will be collected through registration to cover these costs. $60 total per person

Tuition: $250 per person

Total cost to register for the event through our registrar Rebecca is $310.

Make checks payable to the Center for Sacred Studies

Room with breakfast & snacks (arriving June12, 13, 14, 15)

Best Western Sundowner Inn

737 S. 6th Street

Hot Springs, SD 57747

(605) 745 7378

For Reservations Call 1-877-664-7378

non-smoking double @ $44.50 per person (2 queen size beds)

non-smoking double @ $44.50 per person (1 king size bed)

non-smoking triple @ $31.34 per person (2 queen size beds)

smoking double @ $44.50 per person (2 queen size beds)

We have arranged group rates at the hotel. You will need to contact them directly to make your individual arrangements. Please let them know you are with the Center for Sacred Studies, The International Council of Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers. Since there are several events in Hot Springs in June, we could only arrange for a certain number of rooms. Please register as soon as possible to assure your room.

Sundance Time:

The Sundance is traditionally offered through a donation basis only. Everyone comes to help serve the Sundancers and support them through their prayers, cleaning facilities, cooking, washing dishes, and whatever else may be needed by those sponsoring the event. Please indicate on your registration form how you would like to support. If you would like to make a donation towards the Sundance you can arrange that through Rebecca when you register.

Meals during this time are prepared in a central outdoor kitchen site on the Sundance grounds. The eating area is located near the camping space. You will be able to eat there on June 16,17,18,19,20, and 21. There are also some good restaurants in this beautiful little town of Hot Springs. The native peoples of this land consider this holy land. There are natural hot springs in the area. We are gathering information on the local spas and will provide that for you at a later date.

Please let us know if you would like to stay at the ceremonial grounds in the camping area during Sundance time. Indicate this on your registration form. If you are camping, you will need to bring your own tent and camping gear. If you prefer to stay in the hotel, you will need to change your accommodations to another hotel that is a bit closer to the ceremonial grounds. Rooms with breakfast during Sundance are at the Holiday Inn Express. Rooms can only be acquired here June 16th-22nd. There are a limited number available. Rooms are approximately $50 for a double occupancy.

Please contact: Holiday Inn Express

Email: gm.hsosd@wm.hiexpress

Phone: 605 745 4411

Address: 1401 Highway 18, Hot Springs, So. Dakota

Adopt-a-Grandmother:

A grandmother fundraising challenge inspired in Mexico, is our Adopt-A-Grandmother program. A number of people have chosen specific grandmothers and pledged to donate the price of their airline tickets to South Dakota. In the past, some have donated for the grandmothers’ travel companions as well. If you would like to participate in this way, you can contact our office at 209 532-9048 or email us at info@grandmotherscouncil.com

We invite you to consider this way of contributing to their cause. As a demonstration of unity and collaboration for world peace, we are calling on everyone to come forward and hold this sacred basket together. Adopt-a-Grandmother Funds need to be received by April 30th in order to make timely arrangements. If you have other ideas or know individuals who would want to help, please contact us.

We are looking forward to this next step in the Grandmothers March for World Peace!! We will be coming to stand with the Sacred Pipe and pray for a world of unity!! Join us!

Thank you for all of your prayers, inspiration and support. See you in the Black Hills!

For the next seven generations and beyond,

Jyoti & Ann

Center for Sacred Studies

PO Box 745

Sonora, CA 95370

209 532-9048

Your comments are very important and welcome. Please email me and I'll add them to this page. gaianews@aol.com Thank you, Diva Joan Cartwright

  1. ENERGY & INTIMACY
  2. GIBSON & GLOVER MAKE NEWS
  3. MOON NAMES
  4. MELANIN
  5. VISUALIZING LIGHT
  6. BLACK THINK TANK RESULTS
  7. DRIVING WHILE BLACK
  8. THE STATE OF OUR SOULS
  9. DISTRESSED BY STRESS?
  10. MONEY AND SPIRIT
  11. DIVINE CONVERSATION
  12. MANSHARING
  13. SEX AND SKIN
  14. THINK AND ACT
  15. Gullah-Geechee Culture
  16. BLACKS IN NAZI GERMANY
  17. THE GIFT OF JAZZ
  18. WOMEN AWAKEN
  19. CHILDREN AND SEX
  20. BREATHE, MY FRIEND!
  21. WOMEN & MUSIC
  22. SINGLE GRANDMOTHERS
  23. AIN'T I A WOMAN?
  24. REPARATIONS
  25. MSG KILLS
  26. MOTHERHOOD
  27. STAND IN THE LIGHT
  28. FORGIVENESS
  29. COSBY SPEAKS
  30. TREE SHAKERS
  31. CHILDREN
  32. EAGLES
  33. TERRORISM IN AMERICA
  34. BARAKA ON MILNER
  35. NAMES AFRIKAN COUNTRIES
  36. INDIAN MEANS "IN GOD"
  37. WHAT IS BEBOP?
  38. ENGLAND'S BLACK QUEEN
  39. LETTER TO DAUGHTERS
  40. MASS ASCENSION
  41. RUNOKO & SCHOOLS
  42. AFRICAN DEBT RELIEF
  43. CONSPIRACY THEORY?
  44. HOPIS ON EARTH CHANGES
  45. GOING TO THE GRAMMY'S
  46. SAILING AROUND THE WORLD
  47. KATRINA AFTER THE STORM
  48. REMEMBERING TULSA
  49. FACTS ABOUT EARTH
  50. BLACK GIRLS
  51. HUMANITY VS. CIVILIZATION
  52. MATRIOTISM
  53. MANIFESTATION
  54. HIERARCHY OF RACE
  55. TANGLED THREADS
  56. KEYS TO LIFE
  57. THE JAZZ LIFE
  58. BLACK CANADIANS
  59. AFRICANS IN CHINA

 

Profound response from

DINIZULU GENE TINNIE

THE ULTIMATE READ!

There is no innocence. There are no innocents. We are all in this. We have a whole nation to build from the ashes of devastation. Undue stress and pressure are everywhere, on all of us.

DGT

A Grandfather's Wisdom

An elderly Cherokee man was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside of me; it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One wolf is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resent-ment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other wolf is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generos-ity, truth, compassion and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person too."

They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee replied simply, "The one you feed."

JC NOTE:

Fathers, Grandfathers, Uncles, Nephews, Brothers and Sons are needed more than they or we even know! It is time for the Masculine Principle to join with the Feminine Principle to heal the World and it's Children. One is not effective without the Other.

God/Goddess/ALL THAT IS

Your comments are very important and welcome. Please email me and I'll add them to this page. gaianews@aol.com Thank you, Diva Joan Cartwright

Your comments are very important and welcome. Please email me and I'll add them to this page. gaianews@aol.com Thank you, Diva Joan Cartwright

WORDS WE SPEAK

  1. ENERGY & INTIMACY
  2. GIBSON & GLOVER MAKE NEWS
  3. MOON NAMES
  4. MELANIN
  5. VISUALIZING LIGHT
  6. BLACK THINK TANK RESULTS
  7. DRIVING WHILE BLACK
  8. THE STATE OF OUR SOULS
  9. DISTRESSED BY STRESS?
  10. MONEY AND SPIRIT
  11. DIVINE CONVERSATION
  12. MANSHARING
  13. SEX AND SKIN
  14. THINK AND ACT
  15. Gullah-Geechee Culture
  16. BLACKS IN NAZI GERMANY
  17. THE GIFT OF JAZZ
  18. WOMEN AWAKEN
  19. CHILDREN AND SEX
  20. BREATHE, MY FRIEND!
  21. WOMEN & MUSIC
  22. SINGLE GRANDMOTHERS
  23. AIN'T I A WOMAN?
  24. REPARATIONS
  25. MSG KILLS
  26. MOTHERHOOD
  27. STAND IN THE LIGHT
  28. FORGIVENESS
  29. COSBY SPEAKS
  30. TREE SHAKERS
  31. CHILDREN
  32. EAGLES
  33. TERRORISM IN AMERICA
  34. BARAKA ON MILNER
  35. NAMES AFRIKAN COUNTRIES
  36. INDIAN MEANS "IN GOD"
  37. WHAT IS BEBOP?
  38. ENGLAND'S BLACK QUEEN
  39. LETTER TO DAUGHTERS
  40. MASS ASCENSION
  41. RUNOKO & SCHOOLS
  42. AFRICAN DEBT RELIEF
  43. CONSPIRACY THEORY?
  44. HOPIS ON EARTH CHANGES
  45. GOING TO THE GRAMMY'S
  46. SAILING AROUND THE WORLD
  47. KATRINA AFTER THE STORM
  48. REMEMBERING TULSA
  49. FACTS ABOUT EARTH
  50. BLACK GIRLS
  51. HUMANITY VS. CIVILIZATION
  52. MATRIOTISM
  53. MANIFESTATION
  54. HIERARCHY OF RACE
  55. TANGLED THREADS
  56. KEYS TO LIFE
  57. THE JAZZ LIFE
  58. BLACK CANADIANS
  59. AFRICANS IN CHINA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your comments are very important and welcome. Please email me and I'll add them to this page. gaianews@aol.com Thank you, Diva Joan Cartwright

WORDS WE SPEAK

  1. ENERGY & INTIMACY
  2. GIBSON & GLOVER MAKE NEWS
  3. MOON NAMES
  4. MELANIN
  5. VISUALIZING LIGHT
  6. BLACK THINK TANK RESULTS
  7. DRIVING WHILE BLACK
  8. THE STATE OF OUR SOULS
  9. DISTRESSED BY STRESS?
  10. MONEY AND SPIRIT
  11. DIVINE CONVERSATION
  12. MANSHARING
  13. SEX AND SKIN
  14. THINK AND ACT
  15. Gullah-Geechee Culture
  16. BLACKS IN NAZI GERMANY
  17. THE GIFT OF JAZZ
  18. WOMEN AWAKEN
  19. CHILDREN AND SEX
  20. BREATHE, MY FRIEND!
  21. WOMEN & MUSIC
  22. SINGLE GRANDMOTHERS
  23. AIN'T I A WOMAN?
  24. REPARATIONS
  25. MSG KILLS
  26. MOTHERHOOD
  27. STAND IN THE LIGHT
  28. FORGIVENESS
  29. COSBY SPEAKS
  30. TREE SHAKERS
  31. CHILDREN
  32. EAGLES
  33. TERRORISM IN AMERICA
  34. BARAKA ON MILNER
  35. NAMES AFRIKAN COUNTRIES
  36. INDIAN MEANS "IN GOD"
  37. WHAT IS BEBOP?
  38. ENGLAND'S BLACK QUEEN
  39. LETTER TO DAUGHTERS
  40. MASS ASCENSION
  41. RUNOKO & SCHOOLS
  42. AFRICAN DEBT RELIEF
  43. CONSPIRACY THEORY?
  44. HOPIS ON EARTH CHANGES
  45. GOING TO THE GRAMMY'S
  46. SAILING AROUND THE WORLD
  47. KATRINA AFTER THE STORM
  48. REMEMBERING TULSA
  49. FACTS ABOUT EARTH
  50. BLACK GIRLS
  51. HUMANITY VS. CIVILIZATION
  52. MATRIOTISM
  53. MANIFESTATION
  54. HIERARCHY OF RACE
  55. TANGLED THREADS
  56. KEYS TO LIFE
  57. THE JAZZ LIFE
  58. BLACK CANADIANS
  59. AFRICANS IN CHINA

 

 

 

 

Your comments are very important and welcome. Please email me and I'll add them to this page. gaianews@aol.com Thank you, Diva Joan Cartwright

 

 

On Being A Single Grandmother

Grandmothers of today are much younger than in past generations. Many are faced with having been single mothers and are now single grandmothers. Their grandchildren live in a world that requires them to have more material things than did those of past generations. Without fathers and grandfathers there to support them, grandmothers may experience undue stress and pressure.

  1. Could the pressure that I am feeling as a grandmother have anything to do with the fact that I was a single mother and now I am a single grandmother? Or am I just a chronic complainer?
  2. Is it possible that there are thousands of other women dealing with this stress?

  3. Where have the fathers and grandfathers gone?

  4. Why are women left holding the bag, at every interval, when it comes to children they are given by men?

  5. And most importantly, when I chastise my grandkids, why do I become the enemy, when I am the one that is there for them?

  6. Are there any studies on this?

Joan Cartwright - gaianews@aol.com

Mary,
Maybe that's the issue I have because I only knew my father's father and we were not very close, though he was there in my life.
I truly believe that the balance between parents is important. But we all have deficits in our families, whether both parents are there or not.
Life is a puzzle and some of the pieces are just missing.
That's why it's so important to have self-love and self-knowledge, to put the pieces of the Self in order.
Thanks for responding
Grateful Goddess Joan

wow so interesting...yes I am a single grandmother...but I am still friends with my ex and when ever I visit him (at the nursing home) regarding our children he gives me strength and guidance I will miss that when he is gone...and I understand the problem fully I loved my own grandfather very much and the contribution made by grandfathers on the spiritual level is immeasurable. do continue this study!

Mary

Joan, you are so humorous! Along with the humor, you are very wise person. Yes, we create our own reality (our own world); so make it a fun thing because you are the only one who has to live in the world you created within you. We live from within, not from without (smile). This is what I often have to tell myself whenever I fall into the trap of letting other people behaviors disrupt my state of equilibrium.

Alice Ward Johnson

Dear Joan: I must first ask - why are you feeling stress and pressure in the role of grandmother? The entire genre surrounding being a grandmother is that of love, peace, and the ability to spoil them rotten and send them home to their mommas! (smiles)

But seriously - I don't understand why being a single mother has any bearing on being a grandmother. I understand the wanting and the need for male companionship, but at 40+ am proud to say that I have learned the fine art of "dating". I do not feel my life is lacking because I don't have a husband. Personally, I have found that the friendships that I have made through dating have been much more rewarding and longer lasting than those relationships that I entered into because I thought I needed to find a husband or at least a "boyfriend".

I revel in my role as "Nana". As far as my grandchildren are concerned, I am the greatest. Once you feel that kind of devotion from your grandchild mingled with the love that you return to your grandchild - - life is good! You ask where are the males connected to these children? Who the hell knows, but they are the ones missing and lacking, only they will have to answer for their actions or lack thereof.

I understand your anger and concern for the future and all I can say to that is - Don't worry about what you cannot change.

PS: Trust me, when you chastise your grands, they will continue to love you anyway. You will never be the enemy.

Love Ya - Miss Ya
Betsy

It started back in history when, the black man was taken from our sisters to carry their own. It happened when they were not well educated nor given great jobs to support their families. It also happened when most of our men are in jail just for being black. We need to try to help our brothers to help Themselves. Blame it on society, the system, whatever! Let’s try to check our men before they wreck themselves.

Peace my sister. JH

Joan,

I do not know, offhand, what literature is on the market. I have seen several newspaper articles within the past 2 years that draw attention to grandmoms who are raising their grands, usually, on very limited incomes and without any support, whatsoever, unless you count the generosity of friends and neighbors. Yes, there is probably an angle here worth exploring, probably, via fiction for the popular audiences. Or, policymakers and academics would need to see a book that explores the challenges and needs facing single grandmoms.

Hang on in there! Your kids will see the light, someday. JA

Joan, Man was created in the image of God, but he fell short of his expectations. So, He created women who would be, I guess you could say, a newer version or updated model. Man may seem from his exterior form to be stronger than woman, but we as women all know that's not true. That is why God made us to bear the children, to nurture them. Man on the other hand was made to provide, food and shelter and I guess in those times to procreate, which might explain the wondering eye and unfaithfulness. Then came along the 60's, ahh women's Lib. We can do it!!! We don't need man. So, man fought it, for a while, until he got tired of being told "I can do it alone. I don't need you!!!" So, here we are left holding the bag. We did it to ourselves!!! There is no longer balance in Society and today's news is a perfect example to the results of a society gone Mad without God in it!!! And that's all she wrote.
Christine Velez Stone

Joan, I'm not blaming any one person in particular. So, there are no victims. I'm blaming our forever changing societal norms. I'm sure you've read that if you want to change a society you change it over time slowly so not to be felt. As far as feeling like a victim. I don't take ownership of that; do you? I would suggest taking another look at the circumstances. maybe there is something you are missing. an opportunity to reach out to someone in a special way. From every situation in life we learn. hopefully, and then in turn we help someone later who might be passing through a similar problem. Maybe humble yourself and ask the Lord what He wants to show you with this. Why not get on your knees and ask His guidance. you know He's hanging outright there next to you just waiting for you to ask Him. Go ahead Joan. ask Him. don't you feel Him? He's right here, right now, as I write this to you and as you read this. He's God, He's the one with all the answers, not any of us amateurs at life. make lemonade from those Lemons. I'll be praying for you, your daughter and grandchild. I didn't catch their names. and always remember Jesus Loves you and so do I !!!
Seek His Peace, It's free,
Christine

My Friend,

I'm not a grandmother yet, but I feel you as a single Mom. Something tells me I'll feel you as a Grandmother too.

Cynthia

Joan

Yo no se!

Michael

no, joan. you are far from a chronic complainer. just part of the sad phenomena of grandmothers having to raise the grandchildren of missing and limping parents. you know all the sorry reasons.

i've been through a similar situation albeit for a different set of reasons. it gets over and you'll be glad you were able to help.

the most unfortunate part is that you don't get a chance to be perceived as the indulgent grandparent because you're forced of necessity into the "mean ol' scolding mama" whom we all resented at the time. then we cd run to grandma for succor. no such luck too many of these days..

keep up the good fight, literally. it'll all come out in the wash and you'll all be better for it. and just continue to enjoy as much as possible all the things you do so well.
ftate

Hey,

Don't be upset because it could be soooo much worse. Suppose you had the total responsibility for your grands like so many other grandparents do. Just be thankful that they have their mother in their life.

By the time my grandchild gets to the age yours are, I probably won't even know my name (or anybody else's for that matter) (-:

Love you,

Diane

My grands are 6 (girl), 9 (girl) and 10 (boy). The 10 year old is 5 feet tall weighs 115 pounds and wears a size 32 in slacks (men's sizes and men's prices), however none of them are cheap. The 10 year old lives with me and I make all decisions regarding him, his education and extracurricular activities because his mother lacks the maturity to do so. But even within adversity and feeling angry with his mother for not doing her job - I feel truly blessed that I was able to do this for him.

Grands look at us differently - but is that so bad? Do you feel your grands are taking advantage? Or is it that they look at you as being on a level above the average human being?

Betsy

Dear Betsy,

I believe each case may be different, however, we still get the baggage, as single grandmothers because their fathers and grandfathers just aren't around. The kids look at me as a banker with unlimited funds. It's just not reasonable because their mother has given them everything without demanding anything from them. Children must learn to earn their keep and things that they want.

Joan

Dear Joan,

You had the choice to say no. You said they were pleasures not necessities. Ultimately none of us do what we don't want to do. They would still love you if you said "no", occasionally.

Betsy

Dear Betsy,

At 3, we learn to STOP saying "NO"
At 56, I must learn to START saying "NO"!

Joan

Dearest Gene,

After reading your dissertation, which is more than welcome, I am even more assured that the voices of men needs to be heard on this very important issue. I believe the pressure I am feeling led me to start this discourse that may prove to be extremely enlightening to more people than we think!

Love and Light,

Joan

Studying the word of God will bring the inner peace needed to accept all that He wants you to experience. Be at peace with The Source. You’re worth more than you know. Meditate on your worth and know you’re a great creation on a magnificent journal.

Enjoy! Laugh at all things that attempt to trouble your water. Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
Proverbs 29:15

Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
Proverbs 17:6

The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.
Proverbs 20:7

Nita


Could the pressure that I am feeling as a grandmother have anything to do with the fact that I was a single mother and now I am a single grandmother? or am I just a chronic complainer?

YOU DO LIKE TO COMPLAIN, HOWEVER, CHILDREN = PRESSURE, FOR ANYONE. SORRY WE DON'T REALIZE THIS BEFORE WE HAVE THEM OR TAKE PART IN IT.

Is it possible that there are thousands of other women dealing with this stress?

NOT SUGGESTING SUICIDE, HOWEVER, THE LEVEL OF STRESS IN TODAY'S SOCIETY HAS FAR SURPASSED ANYTHING WE THOUGHT OF. I AM SURE THERE ARE QUITE A FEW STUDIES ON THIS AND OTHER STRESS RELATED PHENOMENA.

Where have the fathers and grandfathers gone?

DADDY IS FINE. I WILL TELL HIM YOU WERE THINKING OF HIM.

Why are women left holding the bag, at every interval, when it comes to children they are given by men?

WHY DON'T WOMEN TAKE FURTHER STEPS TO STOP HAVING CHILDREN TO AVOID THIS PREDICAMENT. THERE ARE MANY ANSWERS TO THIS QUESTION.

And most importantly, when I chastise my grandkids, why do I become the enemy, when I am the one that is there for them?

ALL CHILDREN RESENT AUTHORITY, IF THEY ARE NOT USED TO RECEIVING DIRECTION. STOP TAKING THAT PERSONALLY. JOIN THE CLUB. MEMBERSHIP FEE IS $25.00. ONLY JOKING;I AM SURE YOU HAVE PAID YOUR DUES ALREADY, GRANDMA.

Are there any studies on this?

WHY DON'T YOU DO ONE? MAYBE PROCTOR & GAMBLE WILL PAY.

Carlton Cartwright (Joan's brother)

Joan's responses to Carlton

CC: YOU DO LIKETO COMPLAIN.

JC: Nope, you are wrong, I don't LIKE it. I just DO it to keep from having a stroke.

CC: Now, I understand! You cannot be thin skinned when it comes to dealing with them.

JC: Point! But you can get skinned knees begginggrands to do the same stuff you begged your own kids to do.

CC: [RE: Why are women left holding the bag, at every interval, when it comes to children they are given by men?]

After all the pain, I understand. Teach girls to just do it for pleasure and forget about procreation. Unless they have the resources to be independent and make choices.

JC: Now, this is a new perspective!

CC: [RE: Where have all the fathers and grandfather's gone? [Our father is] distant from Bruce [my son], talks to Michael [your son] all the time.]

JC: Yeah, but he has not seen his great grands, Robert, Anthony and Vernechia ina very LOOONG TIME and neither has their maternal grandfather, Peter. I don't think they've ever seen their paternal grandfathers, except for Anthony.

Hi Joan
You are stressed not because you are a single grandmother. Remember, you cannot do the same job twice, you have taken care of your daughter, now you need some patience and love. Children are very interesting, let the punishment to the mother. You also may be tired. God bless you.
Love U Mirianne

Remember, we live in a society that a lot of grandmothers are 25-30 and don't have half the wisdom you have to pass on to their grandchildren. You're a blessing, even without a man.

Jeffery Muhammad

Jeffery, there are really grandmothers today who are 25?????? Thanks for your response

Joan

Absolutely!! That's one of the problems with teenage pregnancy;Children raising children. Girls are having children at 11 and 12 years old. They're maturing faster these days. My mother got pregnant with me when she was fourteen. She had me when she was fifteen.I had had a child at 15, she would have been a grandmother at30.

Jeffery

Question 1 No you are not a chronic complainer, just tired. When you reach a certain age you want peace and when you don't get it you complain because you really want the peace that you are suppose to have at our age.

Question 2 yes you are not alone. WE NEED PEACE . Although we love our grandkids we want them to be grand kids and not extended kids.

Question 3 either with another women or dead.

Question 4 I wonder if its the type of men we choose

Question 5 You are not the enemy you are the disciplinarian. You are not the enemy you are the one that is respected. They will appreciate you as they get older!!!

Dear Joan,
As I shared with a conscious brother in Eatonville (at the ZNH Festival, a jewelry maker and brother of one of the founding Last Poets) who was feeling pretty frustrated about not getting through to his stepsons with the wake-up call, (and I know this sounds glib and easy while the real world is not), I truly believe that what really teaches and awakens the younger generation is the same thing that taught and awakened us to the knowledge that we now deem the most important: The real teacher is the EXAMPLE we set with our own lives.

Grandma can preach, prod and pray, but the success of Grandma being Grandma, and sharing her gift with the world, and the respect she gets back from real people is a lasting, unforgettable and indelible lesson. Our wake-up calls go unheeded, not because the youth don't hear them, or even because they are not very awake already. The problem is, now that we are awake and aware, what do we do that doesn't attract bullets or some other difficulty in our lives. We have struggled to reach our own consciousness, and struggle to hold on, and we struggle not to throw our babies out with the bathwater, and they, knowing no better, are wondering why we put them in such filthy bathwater to begin with. They will learn that we survived it, and they will learn the value of the mental, physical and spiritual strength it took from our actions and our feelings, much more than from our ideas and our words.

Compared to those who went before us, we ain't got no problems. We are going to bring sanity to this planet. That doesn't mean we'll eliminate the insanity, and its irresistible temptations to our youth, but it does mean that those who survive it will have a rock and a safe harbor in the knowledge that we will have preserved.

Peace all ways,

DGT

Dear Gene,
Your previous response to my web page is so STRONG and IMPORTANT and I have gotten great comments from my friends who read it.

I agree with most of what you have said below, with one exception

"Compared to those who went before us, we ain't got no problems."

I think it's more difficult, today, because black people THINK they are FREE and they are not, as yet! We must remove the VEIL of self-denial and self-deceit!
Joan

SB: No studies that I know of -- other than from other grandmother's -- some of them just don't deal.

JC: I may be crossing over to the JUST DON'T DEAL column!

SB: If it will save your sanity, you better. Because they will continue to be who they are and you will be either "out to Lunch" or pushing up daisies. I hate to feel that there are no solutions because there are some out there who need HELP and wish they had a Grandmother like you.

I am being called NANA by quite a few of them. But the consolation is, at the end of the day, I see them go home. I have a 4-year-old who thinks her stuff don't stink, talking about grown. WOW!!!! She can only visit from time to time. Just can't DEAL. I'm love most children, but some you can have. Or is it Me???? Patience, is not there anymore, especially with unruly children. There is a limitation on some grown ups ALSO. (:-).

Queen-mother-sistah-friend,

On Single Grandmothers, awesome,simply incredible, loved reading the responses, ESPECIALLY, the brother who offered the dissertation, the truth is ever so bitter and I have to applaud your brother, your brother, as far as I am concerned said it simply, the same sentiments, which is why I do not have an audience with so-called sistahs, at ALL, your brother echoes what I think 24/7

Why do the sistahs lay down and have children in the first place? Just do it for pleasure, not for procreation, until you are mature MATURE ENOUGH TO BE THE BONDING, ENRICHING, FULFILLING, STRONG, KNOWLEDGEABLE, LOVING, UNDERSTANDING, FLEXIBLE BUT NOT TOO FLEXIBLE, STABLE, SECURE, EMBRACING, ENDEARING, ENLIGHTENING, WHOLE AND TOTAL PERSON PARENT OF TWO PARENTS, raising another human being in this madness up in here,. if you CANNOT meet that criteria, what's the point? Put a cap on it, do it for doing it, get up wash off and keep on keepin on, you ain't bringing no-one else up in here
just because you have a so-called BIOLOGICAL TIME CLOCK, knocking at your pride, your womanhood, your purpose for being. WOMEN, need to re-structure their purpose, in this abyss, cause there ain't no VILLAGE IN AMERIKKKA! JOAN, good, bad or indifferent, your brother hit it on the head! As far as I am concerned. But this is only one sistah's opinion. It ain't a popular realism, not when you are African born in Amerikkka, so truth hits where it hurt the most!!!

Am I a grandmother? NO. Was I a single mother? NO! Happily married for 3 years before the first son dropped, and I drilled him and three other nappy heads under our roof, don't bring me no babies, until you have a mate that will compliment your life in raising those babes, the way your daddy and I are raising you, the hand that rocks the cradle, ain't me.

Do I LOOK LIKE A GRANDMOTHER? NO AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE ONE.
When, you find that soul mate that will compliment you in raising those babes the same way you were raised, I was raised, your aunts,, uncles, nephews, nieces, grandparents, etc. in your immediate family, what you have witnessed through your dad, his dad, my dad, my parents, your grandparents on your dad's side, until you can be a part of that provision, don't bring me no nappy head babes. I ain't no body's babysitter, and I aint' around here trying to make up for something that I didn't do earlier in my life - I AM A SELFISH, LOVING B__H, AND I LOVE MY LIFE!

Hey, put a cap on it buddy, until you can bring up that babe (the first 21 years of your life!!!) the way you were brought up, I'm outta here!

I think they got the message. My son and his 3 brothers are 30, 34, 32 and still ONLY responsible for themselves, and they are simply selective and when they decide to marry, marry quite contrary, I'll know that they are serious. The oldest brother is 36, he got caught up in the music world, with a couple of money-hungry women, who claimed him to be their BABY'S
DADDY!! Frankly, I think his experience frightened the other 3 brothers, cause he is going through courts, hell and hell, why? He did not put a cap on it!!!! AND WOMEN CAN BE HELL! I was 27 when I married and 30 years when he was born, and I loved every moment of it!!!!

I AM 60 NOW AND I LOVE EVERY MOMENT OF IT

If my husband had not suffered from this crazy country's Viet Nam War , I would have had a basket ball, no a baseball team!
We all have come from different living experiences. I feel you, but I am unable to relate! It's a love thing, not a hate, I've just seen too many babies born for all the wrong reasons and they are paying for the pain that the mother's inflicted upon themselves, simply because they were lonely, needed a man, horny, ill advised, low self-esteem, getting even, peer pressure, ignorant or just plain stupid. There are some women AND MEN (and they are NOT GAY!) who do not want children, because they KNOW they would not be the nurturing, bonding parent that a child needs!!! THAT'S SMART!

Take a chill pill and plan to travel again! See you on the next jet, somewhere on this mad planet!!

Jamila

Jamila, first, thanks for your thoughtful and thought-provoking response!

One thing, if we are all God/Goddess/All That Is experiencing LIFE, then, God/Goddess/All chose, CHOSE to have these lifetimes, having children young and in a single-parent environment to LEARN LESSONS. Now, in this millennium, I believe God/Goddess/All is experiencing having NO CHILDREN to see what Lessons there are to learn from that DESIRE. Of course, it could mean the end of the HUMAN RACE but that may mean that God/Goddess/All is choosing to move to a HIGHER LEVEL of existence and experience. God/Goddess/All. I'm trying to keep my thoughts there.
Love
Grateful Goddess Joan

top

Hey Joan,

I don't know if there are any "studies" on this, but I do know that there are an awful lot of very knowledgeable people who know what you know from life experience.

Where are the fathers? They are away on the battlefield, fighting in the war. They are not all winning. They are not all heroes. They are not even all aware that a war is going on. But whether they choose it or not, like it or not, or know it or not, war is being made on them. No different from the history of the past 500 years -- only the names have changed: civilization of the savages, slavery, colonization, pacification, criminal justice, free market economy, good business, FTAA, etc., etc. -- "Nigger (or Injun, or Gook, or whatever else), you ain't got no family to care for that is more important than you working for us -- in one way or another: give us your labor, your land, your money, your life, your wife, your children, or we'll just take it.

I have called it the Asshole-in-the-alley syndrome: Here you are, taking care of business, working, on your way home to your family, with problems enough in your life, when out steps an asshole from an alley to stop you and take whatever you have, including, maybe, your life. What are his qualifications? What gives him the right? Why is his life any more important than yours? He has no education, no knowledge, no purpose, no direction, no positive contribution to make to humankind. But he has a gun and you don't, and that is basically the kind of war that's going on. And bear in mind that a huge number of these aforementioned assholes are the very ones who are supposed to be preventing crime -- they have badges, uniforms, mace, stun guns, handcuffs, and, in case you get the best of any one of them, radio and unlimited backup.

In this war, the gun is only the least of weapons. Miseducation, a sick "popular culture" that glorifies violence, chemical warfare (addictive drugs), AIDS, and, the most controlled substance and the most effective weapon of all, money. (Ain't no accident that Christ saw the need to run the "money changers" out of the Temple of God). This war has been going on for a little while. In Europe itself, the assholes had lifted themselves out of the alleys into the halls of government and positions of "respect," where they maintained themselves by the (legal) enslavement of other people's children as 14 hour-a-day laborers taken from their "unfit", poverty-stricken parents. This is the mind set of the same individuals who orchestrated the slave trade and began the settlement of America. Prominent among the settlers were debtors (some of them poverty-stricken parents), either deported as punishment or, perhaps, even more often the case, escapees from their creditors. These got here not only with the deadbeat mentality but also the aspiration to be like the original rich assholes, at the expense of Guess Who? "Move on, Injun!" "Get to work, nigger!"

The stories of the barbarism that was resorted to to make those commands a reality has been told many times and has hardly been told enough. I just read an excerpt from an overseers diary, where he boasts of punishing a recaptured man who had attempted to escape, by flogging him, "pickling" his wounds with salt, vinegar and hot pepper, and having another man "shit into his mouth," to which a gag was quickly tied so he would have to wear it "with his mouth full for four or five hours." This is for the "crime" of seeking the freedom that is a person's birthright as a child of God. The same overseer's journal is full of records of his sexual encounters with enslaved women, or -- far more probably the case -- girls, who sometimes also get "flogged well."

Barbaric to us, maybe, but, like it or not, this has become the ideal of American "manhood": the guy who has power over other men and can have any woman he wants, when, where, and how he wants, and he's not squeamish or afraid to do whatever it takes to get it. These are the values of the richest and most powerful people in the country. They control the levers of government. They are glorified by Hollywood -- from fictional "action thriller" movies to (equally fictional?) TV news reports. The psychotic inmates have seized the asylum and imprisoned their healers. None dare question the head man, the chief of surgery or any of the other title holders. They have ways to teach you about sanity.

The wonder, the miracle, the Gift of God in all of this is that we are still here at all, with any of the mental or spiritual wherewithal to be parents or to raise families at all. True enough, it might not take but "a moment's pleasure" to create a lifetime of parenthood and responsibility, and it is, of course, the mothers who bear the brunt, even as they have to fight the same war as the men. The sexual act may not require a whole lot of intelligence on the part of the participants, but its consequences sure put people to the test, and one of the great untold stories of heroism is the number of parents -- particularly mothers -- who have passed that test, delivering beautiful, gifted and promising children to this world at God's behest. Problems there are, and problems there will be, but we must never forget to count our blessings and to be aware of what we have, as much as we are of what we don't have. That is just the mental grounding we need to keep our wits about us. Beyond that, it is a constant struggle.

Malcolm X, much glorified in fond and imagined memories, was not a very comfortable individual to be around or to have around, while he was alive: He was not above challenging the manhood of supposed "men" (the playuhs, the hustluhs, the all-important bourgeois title-holders, the preachers, etc.) with a very simple and direct question: Can you protect your woman from the white man? Yeah, Bro! The same galling question that ate your insides out and bit through your lip while you lay in the filth of the slave ship hold, praying and pretending that those were not HER screams you were hearing through that solid barricade, above all the other wails and curses. Malcolm gave the dope-slap that woke us right on up out of the temporary relief we thought we had from the knockout drops of modern "Civilization" (everything from cars to lipstick, from liquor to gambling, even [mis]"education"). He took us right back to that stark reality of being naked Africans in chains that has been ["white"] America's founding definition of us, and dared us to be men, alive, awake, and conscious.

Kwame Nkrumah once famously said that "The political maturity of a nation can be measured by its women" (or something close to those exact words; the meaning is clear). "Our" women (much like the Native American women, and, truth to be told, Irish women and many others who bear the burden of being wives and lovers in politically conquered nations) have earned respect beyond words for their ability to have been keepers of true love for the men in their lives, whom they have often had to nurture almost as much as the children they bore for these men. In Kwame Nkrumah's own nation of Ghana (which sage observers tell me has backslid considerably from the heady days of independence and greater national pride), I have observed a mother, baby wrapped around her back, working on a construction site, carrying buckets of cement up a bamboo scaffold to the workers. There was no sense of complaint or bitterness or self-pity in her demeanor. She was a woman with a job to do, taking care of business, and when she left, there would be other things to do. She was taking care of another young life, another gift to the planet. Now, it seems to me that there is a meeting place somewhere in here, where that kind of strength and purposefulness combines with political consciousness and creates a world in which "our" men, in this country, start seeing a different way of being and thinking.

Some of us have long contended that when women lose interest in Cadillacs and Saks 5th Avenue, a lot of men (who depend on that as their game) will have to regroup and rethink. The violence, the hypersex, the deadbeatedness, the irresponsibility, the problems that men have with their roles as fathers and spouses are all deeply rooted in the political reality of "conquest." They are "covers" for what guys know (or think) they can't do -- and still be men. The dominant cultural misconceptions of "manhood" derived from the corrupted powers of the slavery era, is no help either. Our schools and schoolteachers that conspire to derail the boys with too much promise cannot be overlooked.

All of these things are reasons, but they are not excuses. They help us understand and see clearly, but understanding and vision without any concrete action is useless. I focus on the male side of the equation, but I do so knowing that the female side is equal. The torment of the brother in the hold of the slave ship is just the other side of the torment of the sister who can no longer contain the scream she prayed he would not hear, even as her lustful, cowardly tormenter took satisfaction in it. There is no innocence. There are no innocents. We are all in this. We have a whole nation to build from the ashes of devastation. Undue stress and pressure are everywhere, on all of us. We must not worry about our imagined perceptions of unequal burdens. We are exactly as Malcolm said we are, and we might as well face it with purposeful, step by step action, to save one baby at a time and leave none behind, regardless of who the parents are.

Somewhere, in all of this, Joan, arises the personal question of creativity, and what we do with it. Ultimately (and I hope this doesn't sound just abstract and philosophical), the best way to defeat oppression is to be who we really are in spite of it. I think it is the legacy of EXAMPLE that we leave our children that is the most valuable and inspiring of all. They might not hear or listen to or absorb the wise ideas we try to implant in them with all of our love and energy, but, by God, they know that if they saw you actually do something, and make it happen, successfully, somewhere deep inside, they will know that they have that ability. So, as much as you can see that I have given thought to general and global political and social patterns, it seems like it still comes down to what we do with the knowledge, and it is here that I had to wrestle with the notion for a while of whether "art" is just a cop-out from the struggle. (After all, does my art feed my baby, today? And tonight? And tomorrow? I conclude that that is not the right question).

What I have learned is that in every sport or combat or competition, it is extremely difficult to win if your opponent dictates the terms and the rhythm. If we think this is about "race" or "gender" or "us against them," we have already bought into "their" paradigm and their definition of terms. If we recognize ourselves and each other as persons unique and here for a purpose, no matter what, we find ourselves engaged in what our people have done for centuries: asking at childbirth "Who is this child and why has (s)he come amongst us?," so we know what to do to nurture that child into the fulfillment of his or her purpose. In our situation, it seems that we need to let "charity begin at home" by nurturing our own "artistic" gifts, since they are part of our purpose, as thoroughly as we can, until they become a real instrument of power. In doing so, we are bound to inspire others, including the little ones around us.

This is not to ignore the other stuff. I do not forget Malcolm's challenge. I do not try to hide from the inadequacies that his challenge exposes in my own life as a father and as a man. At the same time, I do not give in to the stress and frustration that would have me beating my fists and brains bloody against the wall of a very well organized (albeit psychotic) system of violence and oppression. My sister once reminded me of the extraordinary gift that it is to actually have the ability to create something, as an outlet, as a response, as a contribution. Everybody, she reminded me, does not have that. I therefore should be grateful and show my gratitude by producing.

We are all the children of our parents and the parents of our children. The children who are abused grow up to be abusers -- unless the village intervenes. The children of deadbeat dads may well grow up to be deadbeat dads -- hell, what do they know from fathering? Believe it or not (it took me a while to get to this), the "village" today, I believe, is not so much the churches, the political leaders, or the various "experts" full of advice; the "village" is the artists. Think about it. Who else really has the responsibility for putting "truth" out there where it can be shared. This is not the "cultural truth," that a few insiders can dig and agree upon, like a klavern of rotten-toothed klansmen agreeing that we are lower animals and swearing it to be true, for example. The truth of beauty and the beauty of truth is what sustains the human soul, regardless of culture. The truth will make you free. I have heard you hit more than one "true" note in your time, and the image of you doing it has stuck with me for a long time afterwards.

I began this with the intent of writing two sentences and saying "hello". The ramble just came and kept on coming, so forgive the length and take it as inspiration inspired by the Truth you had to share. I imagine it was as much for myself as for you that I had to let this run its course. Our situation is an oppressive one; that cannot be denied, and, as such, undue stress and pressure are built in to it. Our inherited ability to handle it at all is a gift for which we need to pause and give thanks, even as we face today's new daunting challenges and unexpected crises. Yet, I also remember the words of artist Stanley Pinkney (Babaluaiye S. Dele) in Boston: "Have you ever stopped to think, that in our situation -- in OUR situation, mind you -- we actually dare to say that we are going to create something, that we are going to be artists. Have you ever stopped to think about that?"

Peace and Love to you always, and to your single Mom daughter and the grands

DGT
- More from DGT

Christine, This sounds logical, but this problem is deeper and goes back longer than the sixties. Woman had a reason for telling man she could do it better, alone. It is easier to live without a man than with a man who is sleeping with other women and/or spending his money on other things than family. It sounds like the "blame the victim" argument for rape victims to me. This argument doesn't work for me. But do check out the page that I've built for responses, including yours. Thanks for taking the time to reply.
Joan

THE FACE OF FATHER'S DAY: MR. WILLIAM M. WESTON

In Search Of Fatherhood- Transcending Boundaries

Just the first paragraph of this blog begs for a response. What is yours?
 
IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD (R)

In the Yoruba culture, Obatala is the father of wisdom knowledge, and patience, among other virtues,  and sometimes he imprisons his people so that they have time to think , address, accept, and acknowledge their wrongs in life. This is the time for them to change their focus, to change their lives for the betterment of self, family, country, the world. Lessons learned means mistakes are not repeated. This is the lesson of life for without honoring, acknowledging and changing our mistakes, we will not grow. It is no error that we make mistakes, for whatever we need to change in our lives, comes to us, right in our face, so that we have an opportunity to grow.
peace and love,
Nay

* * * * *

Joan,
I think that those fathers ought to use this particular day to try and reconnect with their families.  Make amends, talk from their heart about their problems, and how they can contribute to a better relationship with their children and family in general.

Daniele

* * * * *

How do you find time for this wide array of sites, issues info? I try but find myself a  real loss.

Now, as to incarcerated fathers, it is my opinion somewhat systemic (Rove gets off while the bro w/ a nickel bag does 5-15). I have never understood the logic of incarcerating " dead beat dads" because how the hell can you care for someone if you are in JAIL (maybe a work program or more opportunities within the system could help to resolve this issue)

The system, for most brothers is a JAIL.They are berated by everyone  and often lacking opportunities that even immigrants can take advantage of.

Don't get me started. This does not excuse dead beats or those who legitimately need to be behind bars but it points to questions about how our society treats fathers and people in general.

modaddy

Today's grandparents aren't content to sit in their rockers doing needlepoint or whittling wood. The modern grandparent is healthier and more active.

Tribute to Girlfriends

book cover image

Traces Morrison's theory of African American mothering as it is articulated in her novels, essays, speeches, and interviews.

Mothering is a central issue for feminist theory, and motherhood is also a persistent presence in the work of Toni Morrison.

Examining Morrison's novels, essays, speeches, and interviews, Andrea O'Reilly illustrates how Morrison builds upon black women's experiences of and perspectives on motherhood to develop a view of black motherhood that is, in terms of both maternal identity and role, radically different from motherhood as practiced and prescribed in the dominant culture. Motherhood, in Morrison's view, is fundamentally and profoundly an act of resistance, essential and integral to black women's fight against racism (and sexism) and their ability to achieve well-being for themselves and their culture. The power of motherhood and the empowerment of mothering are what make possible the better world we seek for ourselves and for our children. This, argues O'Reilly, is Morrison's maternal theory—a politics of the heart.

GaiaNews

WORDS WE SPEAK

fyicomminc